"The Young and the Jobless" — Afterward

“Should I call? Should I not call. Should I call? No, I should not call.

Guys who like you enough will call you. That’s why I should not call.”

There. It’s the logic of dating. The reasoning behind so many hours of thinking, wondering, debating … I truly forgot what dating was like. I thought it was boy likes girl + girl likes boy = Saturday afternoons paddling, slowly floating on a beautiful Central Park lake. Or standing in a quiet gallery in front of a painting together, debating whether it’s a clown or a lizard. Eating ice cream in the sun, sharing cookies and dreams. Walking through street markets in the afternoon, sitting by the water at sunset, holding hands, cuddling on a wooden bench looking off into the Hudson.

Wait, that’s the movies. Or, that’s what happens when guy likes girl enough. Or has enough confidence.

But it’s not dating. Dating is rocket science. Dating is A + B = n/a. He’s just not that into you, you tell yourself. But then why did we have such an amazing time last Monday; I know that wasn’t chance, you answer. And why has he called me so many times since then? Why does he send me messages? Well, then if he calls you, why don’t you call him back? I have, and he’s called back too, but he hasn’t requested another Monday to repeat. Well, OK, he has, but it was at the last minute, and I didn’t want him to think that was fine, so I said no. But then we went out the next night, but it wasn’t a date, it was dancing with other friends. And he kissed me then, but then he failed the test I gave him in my head later.

I don’t want to get into the test now, but the point is this: Dating is just awkward. I totally forgot! I thought things just worked instantly when they felt right. But sometimes it feels right, but it’s just not.

Too bad he’s cute, though. Waste of a good face, if he doesn’t know how to make the girl he likes feel special.