36: saturday

I woke up this morning feeling lonely.

I don’t know why.

But I had a strange dream last night, that I was with my sisters, and my parents, and then my sisters again and we were on vacation. But when we got back, my mother died in my arms.

It was a strange sensation, because in the dream, I traveled through it with her, feeling her breath leave her body.

It was odd. So I woke up odd. And stayed odd as I sat in front of the TV and said bye to my roommate, who was leaving once again on another business trip. I watched TV for a while, and the more I watched, the emptier I felt.

So I turned it off, and I sat at my kitchen table, as water boiled for coffee, and read up on more nutrition. I read all about digestion, absorption and metabolism. I can’t believe what a little expert our body is. I absorbed all the information with my jaw dropping with each sentence. “Now I know there really must be a God,” I said to myself. How can there not, how can all this have been created on its own? It’s too smart — it couldn’t have.

I’m going to church tomorrow. Finally — it’s been forever. But I’m not going because of my nutrition-related discovery. I’m just going because I  meant to go for a while. And to meet Greek people. Not necessarily “young single Greek guys” as my mom urges me on every one of our Saturday calls. But just to meet more of the people I’m closely related to … genetically.

“Wanna hang out now?” asks a new guy over texts as a type this. I’m gonna say OK, aren’t I? Probably. Craps. And it’s 1:30 a.m. How will I wake up for church?! Whatever happened to them calling you three days in advance?!!!

It’s a case-by-case basis. Just like our clients ask for when it comes to moderating those message boards.

“Where?” I ask him. “Wherever. You tell me,” he responds. Craps. Case by case … OK.


About tali2

I am a recent grad of the wonderful English major. Though I don't regret studying English one bit, I realize why my teachers, parents, friends, and imaginary mentors warned me against it: Because it leads you nowhere. But it did give me great writing skills which I hope to continue honing in this blog as I chronicle the tribulations of the terrible job hunt in the terrible job market of NYC. And I hope that my blog reminds fellow unemployed recent grads that you are not alone, inspires some hope within us, while presenting a snapshot of our lives to others who do not share the same self-imposed troubles.
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